Give Your life direction

Admitting Pain

If you don’t like how the world around you looks, change your world. If you feel that something is not really working, it is time to change. Many times, I escaped from admitting that I didn’t like how my life looked—the choices I was making or the ways I was spending my free time. Zoning out, scrolling through my phone just to avoid letting any thoughts pass through my head, watching six episodes of a series that wasn’t even interesting.

It was an escape from the pain inside.

The funny and sad thing about it is that this kind of pain cannot be escaped; it can only be delayed. The more things gather there, the longer it will take to clean it up. I realize that the phrase "not good" may be too gentle to describe what we might feel when we are experiencing depression or mourning, but over time, the perspective changes. Heartbreak seems lighter from the perspective of years, but I wasn’t laughing back then when it hurt so much.

The Hidden Pain

Take a toothache, for example. A hole in a tooth grows slowly, and one day, something might break when everything seemed fine before. When it finally cracks, our favorite food or drink will not bring us any joy; the only thing we’ll want is for the pain to go away. Of course, you can take painkillers or numb yourself with stimulants, but they do not solve the core of the problem. It won’t go away by taking a pill; it only allows you to function.

If we don't go to the dentist, we will become addicted to pills, and something that once could be fixed with a little drilling will eventually need a root canal treatment. It will take longer to heal and will require pills prescribed by a doctor and possibly antibiotics. The fear and shame of going to the dentist will make us store even more of these emotions. It will be even more difficult for us to make an appointment, and the specialist will have even more work.

Write down what hurts you, and think about why it hurts you.

Writing helped me organize the way I think, and instead of looping myself in a circle with the thoughts that were coming into my head, I could put them down into words and see them. When I saw them, I admitted that I might need assistance in understanding why there were so many repetitions in my thoughts and actions.

The first step is to admit to yourself that you want to change something and need a checkup. The willingness to sincerely work on ourselves is enough to take the first steps. This is already enough to feel a surge of energy to act. An interesting thing for me is that once something is written down, it becomes clearer to understand. Try it for yourself; sometimes, situations that we see as problematic are just situations that need solutions.

Psychologist and Dentist

If your teeth hurt, you know that a dentist will be needed. You might try to delay the visit, but the pain will eventually lead you to a specialist who knows what kind of work needs to be done. When your emotions are giving you signs that your body doesn't feel good, you might ignore them. A very important moment in my life was when I accepted that I felt emotional pain that wasn’t letting me go through life easily. I started to seek assistance and understanding. After studying psychology, which I didn’t finish, I realized that I needed to help myself.

So, I went to a psychologist who helped me understand what I was carrying inside. It is not something to be ashamed of; asking for help is a sign of courage that should be highly valued. If you know that you feel pain, that is the beginning of change. Understanding the pain is another step that leads to answers about why and how it happened. Of course, it may seem hard and like a long journey, but without it, life can be even harder.

I wanted to let you know that if you’re having a hard time right now, it is never too late to change that.

Embracing the Pain

There were many holes that I needed to fix in my soul, and drilling hurt a lot, but after a long journey, I can say it was worth it. I feel lighter, and now I know the tools and methods that are helpful for me to understand more on a regular basis. I noticed patterns that I was repeating and that I was focusing on things that were not productive for me. I’ve been able to reach inner peace in most of the time, since I started to look into them.

From my perspective, it is not a game or a race to win; it is about the relationship that I have with myself, and I embrace the light and shadows within me. It doesn't need to be scary, but it is at first. Changing beliefs that were once true for me was hard. Letting go of the patterns that were the core of my belief system was a difficult moment for me.

But once I understood that all I needed was to break free from patterns that were no longer serving me in a good way, I felt much better. After admitting to the pain, I was able to embrace it, accept it, and go through life feeling lighter. Like a balloon where I just threw out the ballast that wasn’t allowing me to feel free.

Sometimes it is easy to start a conversation with self-analysis. An inner dialogue that keeps going in your head might turn into a dialogue on a piece of paper. Maybe forming the experience can create some art, maybe it can inspire you to do something incredibly beautiful.

Pain can be a source of inspiration. If someone hurt you, maybe there is an opportunity to describe it. Maybe you can describe something in a way that will inspire others to look at things from a different perspective.

Give it a try, for yourself.